You followed me around my party
pointy chin pressed frequently into the soft top of my shoulder
you leant there not saying much
sometimes you'd slur,
I love you.

I'd drink out on the rooftop with you
and your happenstance friends
The whole building felt empty
and in the morning,
walking the short block home
the street
empty too

I couldn't get home fast enough
but then another night and
two beers and I was your's
every time
I think I only told one friend
or maybe she just guessed.

Your room would change
a different view hidden by the reflection
of us in the window
the muffled sound of bottles
tumbling into a bin downstairs in the pub

Each time I'd leave something there
and I never meant to stop turning up
to collect something of myself
Drunk and wanting
But I guess I was so constantly
in awe of how good you were
how pure that love was and
how it came out of your skin like a scent
that I wasn't sure where to put you
in my heart

When I die and they write my
biography you can tell them that you were
one of the only ones that I fell
about the place with whom I actually loved
and how every year since, I missed your birthday
but it didn't matter
because we never imagined eachother